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| - Tip Your Bartender "A slew of many possibilities has past me, and the choices I have taken and pursued have me here. Now. With everything thats happened, its hard to tell everything, because my human memory isn't strong enough to cover it. Strong enough to remember, but I'm happy.
In basic, easy for to know, I've been working at the Paris at the pool, and its been going okay. I've been lazy, and latley having fun. I've found and been getting along with certain people. I enjoy working with Tara at the front because we joke around a lot, and have fun. Its tight. Its so funny, and its the best to get through the day. We have a lot of fun with our words, and we are starting to missions with the guests. Its all fun. Annie! Aliens Forever!
Other than that, Music is next. I've been playing, listening, and buying music constantly, still. All the time. It never ends... I need to learn more though, but I've been lazy...(haa)
The Best For Last is Jessica. We are still together and its great. I think...Love, but I haven't said the word. We both are working now, and with her school, and worj hours, we only really have a chance to see each other on our days off, and thats becasue with the flexibility of my job, I've changed my days off to fit her, which is Monday and Tuesday. I've talked to Jessica everyday since the moment I knew who she was. Thats a lot. With a few arguments and annoyances, its has been good. Natural. I could think of no one better for me. I have no doubt.
Nothing else really has happened if my memories serve me correctly... Spent some time with my Nephew Jimmy who I haven't seen in forever, who is oddly connected to Shane's family, and knows his sister who Jessica knows, so thats weird how that plays out. Haha. Other than that, I'm still my lazy, mad to be growing up, missin and wishing to be younger self." | | |
| "Pearl Necklace. Kicking and Screaming. Beautiful. Togetherness. Compadability. These All describe the moments I just barley got to share with Jessica.
They felt so good and were great. Jessica is just the life I wish most.
She came over about an hour after I got off work. At first we were just a little hesitant to each other, but we gave in.
We saw Kicking and Screaming together. It was a pretty funny movie.
Right when that was over, J's mom called and said to be home by 12. That meant she haad to leave in like 30 min. It felt as if I barly got to spend time with her...
We laid in my bed and kissed. Since she was on her . , I couldn't really do anything to her, but that didn't stop her from me.
We pushed against each other and I was very turned on by her. She handed me, then after that was going, ask me to get on top of her. She continued, but for some reason I wanted more, so after moving up more on her, she caught on. I was hesitant, but she got me completly naked, she said I had to be to do it.
From there I moved, and after a while was done, and in her words, made a pearl necklace. Later she said I made her a lotion for her chest. Already waiting to see her." | | |
| "When the wind blows, the air shatters. Simple. Routine. Beautiful, and surprising. The same. Never the same.
Me and Jessica's Original plans was for her to come over Friday, and for her to spend the night...she was scared to, so we didn't, but we did really spend the night together.
She came to my house around 4. We listened to some music for a while, and as we had planned for like a week advanced in getting Kellie we did. I talked to her the night before and got it to where she was gonna call me around 6, when Jessica was there. She called. Chance brought the phone in, and then I gave Jessica the phone. Jessica held the phone out, and yelled, "Tyler, out your pants back on..." And stuff like that, then Chance came in, said some remark in a mean way, and hung up on her. We laughed, but it wasn't over there. Gay B must've been pissed.
My cell phone then rang. It said unknown number, but I knew it was her. I gave it to J, and she finally answered. She said "Hello?" like a white girl receptionist, and K asked for me, then other things were said, and I guess Kellie made fun of the tone she was using, and talked to her like that asking me to call her. She was even yelling at her. It was good. It wasn't over there either. haha.
We went into my living room, walked outside, laughed, and went back in. I looked at my cell phone, and then saw a message from Gay B Cell. I grabbed it, and went to J. We checked it together. Basically it said that she didn't know what kind of game I was playing, and that she was sick of it. She told me to control my bitch, and call her when I get my head out of my ass. I could see it coming...a battle.
Jessica took charge and text her back. She was all sweet in hers, like awww, and this and that, which probably made Kellie even more mad. K ended up calling Jessica a cunt and insacure(which is spelled insecure) and said she was acting 5 years old. J replied agin.
I thought it was all funny, the way Kellie got so mad over all of it, and we were having fun and joking. Jessica... Good words.
Kellie then sent a couple messages saying she wants her stuff back(What stuff? Her shoe laces? Her hair ties? Stupid.) She then said, exactly "He knows, but just so you know i got more than you i got his virginity, it wast worth the 5 min though." Ha. My virginity? No way Kellie. If n e one knows that story, she doesn't have my virginity, but now, I can say, that Jessica does.
Here was Jessica's reply to that, her wanting her 'stuff back' "HAHAHAHA UR THINGS.. TYLER AND I HAVE SHARED MORE IN THE TIME WEVE BEEN TOGETHER THAN U EVER DID..WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY HAVE OF URS?" She didn't take the text of caps lock. Witty and true reply.
Also, here was her reply to her 'virginity' text. "TOO BAD HE DIDNT CUM LIKE IVE MADE HIM..ESPECIALLY WHEN WE BOTH ORGASMED DURING SEX..UR RIGHT HE IS WORTH IT." Awww, how cute.
Then some more stuff happened, Kellie getting mad, and sayin something about enjoying the 4in cock, and just mean and rude stuff, and Jessica sent one saying enjoy the aids from that 22 year old, ending with a quick "DONE." and it was done. We both laughed at Gay B. We and will still probably make references to all of this. I haven't talked to K since.
After all that business we watched a comedy DVD, ate some pizza, and spent the rest of the night in my room, in my bed together, listening to music, and uh, pleasuring each other to say the least.
I had her really going, and had all the power in my hands. Literally. Again, we both orgasmed together.
After that, we laid together listened to music. I was thirsty, so I got up to get some water. "Want me to come out there with you?" "No, I'm now done with you yet. You just stay here and think." I know we were both very happy at this moment.
Before, when I was layin with her, I told her of how much these moments mean to me, realizing the moment as the moment was happening. That we were creating the memories upon which I live on, and one day will wish for. I feel that as its happening, and even though I know what will happen, I cannot change it.
I came back with the water, drank some, let her have some, put in a dif. CD, and layed with her again. We continually kissed and held each other for a while, and already I was having some energy, although there was a little pain when she did n e thing. After some time, we started up again. AGAIN!
I told to stop with me because it hurt more than it felt good. I continued with her. She was getting real turned on, and I sort of was. She asked me if I wanna have sex. After some time I said yea, then as we about to so it it, she could tell that I really wasn't able, and stopped me. She didn't want to make me do it. I agreed. I then continued on her. I hooked it up again.
We kissed. For some reason I was turned on again. "Are you horny?" of course no answer. "You want me to give you head?" "Only if you want..." "Okay, lay down on your back." I did so. She did it.
She was SO good this time. It felt so good, and as it was coming and she went faster, I orgasmed. It felt so good this time. When it was over, her mouth tickled me so good, and I laughed aloud. I get so sensitive. So does she. I told her it felt good, and she layed next to me.
During this time we were both tired, in both ways, and closed our eyes and laid with each other. I felt so close to her at this moment... I just wanted to lay next to her so badly, and I was. It felt so good just to hold her. We both may have even fell asleep a couple of times during this, but not for long. I kept grabbing her body and pulling it as close to me as I could with some strength involved. She would say "Awww.." like everytime. "Don't leave me!"
I wanted to lay with her forever, I didn't want her to go, but she had to. It was a perfect day and night, and I just felt so attatched to her, my heart wanted her. My thoughts wanted her. They did have her. I had that mysterious 'high' feeling.
I held her close and kissed her for as long as I could, then she had to go. I felt very good, and very happy. I Love it Love.
The next day was my first day back on the job, and that is now over since I already went through it.
It was okay...It kinda got boring just standing there handing out towels and checking room keys, but its routine. Its like I never left he damn place. I only knew Brittany, Matt, and Melissa form last year. All the other lifeguards I didn't know. I met them, and just sort of left them as acquaintances. I was quiet. I was myself with who I knew.
My feet hurt, I'm tired, and I need to take a shower. Cheers.
You know you really like someone when you miss them the very next day. The very next second" | | |
| "Well, Saturday and Sunday were to days that I wish to remember....so I'm gonna tell myself about them. Saturday comes before Sunday, of course, so I will start there. I was at My Dad's house through the very long mourning which seemed to last forever since I woke up kinda early, I awaited Jessica's call, so I could go to her house. I've been waiting two weeks to see her, as I've been missing her very much that whole time. She finally called later in the day, and I was set to go. I got some directions to get to her new house, and left.
Upon not seeing the exit name n e where, and knowing it was before the one I usually get off which I was already to, I thought something was going wrong. I quickly called. She answered and I asked her what was going on, and she told me that I was supposed to get off the exit I just passed. It had a different name then she told me, so I missed it, so I ended up getting off where I usually do.
For some reason she had an attitude with me. I was already angry that I missed the exit, but held calm, and she was being hella mean for some reason, calling, and making me feel stupid. I hated it. She made me so mad. Like it was al my fault. She told me the directions, and I listened. I was so irritated with her.
After some more outbursts because I didn't understand where I was, I finally made it. I was so mad. I stopped way down the street, hung up her calls, turned up my music, and contemplated if I should even go to her house. I was serious thinking about going home... But that faded with time, and I felt normal and went. I stopped in front of her house. She told me to go in, and go upstairs. I made my way in.
I viewed the stuff laying around since they aren't at all fully moved in, studied the pool table, and went upstairs.
I knew she was up there, I wasn't quite nervous, my anger took everything over. I went up there, looked at her, and she looked back. "Awww....awww..." She said as soon as she saw my. It was because I had my hair cut, and it looked good. I couldn't stand anything, and went into the bathroom. I checked myself, thought some thoughts that I didn't want to feel, went out, and sat on her top stair, so we couldn't see each other, and I watched some weird show. A lil later she peeked over and looked at me. She said something, but I didn't move.
I then stood up, and stood there. We both didn't talk to each other. I was starting to feel better, and didn't want things to stay like this, despite my current and past feelings. "Give me a hug." I say. She gets up, stands in front of me, and waits. I don't go up to her. I couldn't do it for some reason. She sat back down. Again, "Give me a hug." The same thing. Its not like she put forth a big effort either, but I really did want to hug her. After more silent thoughts exchanged with myself, I had to do something.
"Give me a hug, or I'm leaving." I was semiserious. She got up, and I finally took my step forward and hugged her. She quickly pulled away after a second and sat down. It felt so good, so natural to hold her...I wanted it longer. Something happens, and I sit on the couch.
We end up next to each other. At this point I am still mad, and hold stubborn. It was different though...I was really hurt, and I held back. She kept asking me if I was mad, and I kept saying yes, and I explained, and she apologized. I still wasn't fully happy then, but with some time it faded and I became all right. We watched stuff till a lil late, and decided to go.
We left, and drove to my house. With my driving, I sacred her a couple times, and kept going. People always get scared when I drive. Plus, for some reason when I drive with other people, I don't feel fully comfortable. I'm better alone. Maybe I'm destined to be alone.
After getting off the highway, since Macaroni Grill was literally right there, we decided just to go there like I've been planning to take her since I still had the $25 gift certificate from Christmas.
Right as we walked in, we got a table very quickly. It was a good atmosphere, but the waiter was kind of rude. We talked, had some laughs, figured what we wanted, and I made her order. I hate interacting with other people. We shared the Mama's trio. It had some good stuff. After we finished that, we got some dessert, a cup filled with chocolate cake, caramel, and whipped cream to top it. We both had some of that, she fed me a bite, and I paid the check and left.
We got to my house. We walked in. She went into my room, and I greeted my Mom. She was already hooked on e-mails, and I knew she wanted to check it, so I hooked that up. She read a letter, wrote one, and went to bed. Jessica put herself on my bed. I put in Breaking Pangaea. We listened to that, and I asked her to guess who the singer. She Loves Taking Back Sunday, and her favorite out of all of them is Fred, and of course its Fred who is on the CD.
We listen to the whole thing, and as she guesses, she can't figure it out. I couldn't really give her n e clues. She did say the real lead singer for TBS, but thats the closest she got. She finally let me tell her after I had been antsy to, and told her. Right as I did, she was so happy, and said she was kinda thinking that. She liked it.(I go way into too much detail over everything...)
I then switched that CD in her anticipation of being with me, and laid next to her. I think the usual stuff was going on. I told her that I was happy she was finally with me, that I am yet again going to miss this moment. I realize the true beauty as its happening, and know it will be gone, so I want to savor it. I hold and kiss her. That continues until the next CD. When that CD is on, I totally forget about the music, and am into Jessica.
I don;t know why, but I feel so comfortable with her. Anything that she does, I do, we do, it doesn't matter. I don't get so nervous as I usually do. She does some TTS, which is gd, then before its to late stops. She gets on top of me and that motion rocks a while, then she lays on her side. Throughout this whole time, randomly my stomach would start to hurt.. That damn dessert. I would rub my stomach, and she would too, and sometimes kiss it and more...
She ended up cleaning me up with her tongue and mouth. I did the same to her after she was done, but I didn't finish her off. I got on top of her. She wanted me so bad, and told me so. I wasn't as feeling as her, but I regained some of myself. I turned her on to a brink. "Do you have a condom? You don't do you." "Yea I do." "Where?" "In my wallet." "Get that shit."
This was a weird moment. This would be my first time. It felt as if it were normal. Like it was nothing. I grabbed it. "If it goes behind the bed, you don't get another chance..." She told me. I laughed at this connection. It was of my experience with Kellie. We opened it, and I had it in my hand. I was totally inexperienced, but did what I had to do. It was hard at first since I had already went once... It took some managing, several tries, and major trying to turn me on to get it fully. We then did it. We moved into each other... I felt my self giving way, and after some time, did. Just as I did, she did. We did it at the same time. For me, it didn't feel as gd. I had to get my shit going, had some pain, and the second time didn't feel as good. I want to do it with full energy. I want a better memory of it.
We were on a time table, so we quickly got up when we were done, scrambled to get our stuff, and left. It was around 1:50 A.M. I pretty much flew in my Mom's car. When we got to her house, everything was fine, and we stayed up. We then went to sleep. We both slept on her couch upstairs, away from each other.
This time I had a good sleep. I slept until I woke myself. I was comfortable. I woke up before her, then she awoke. Right when we did, Shane wanted breakfast, of course, and wanted to go out. I got up, then we left. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings.
Here we all sat and ate together. We played the game they have there, and I had a good time. I really do enjoy those moments when everyone connects, and you remember. I remember.(What a story)
We went back to the house, and Shane left. We pretty much watched TV all day. But in the middle of the day, we did something else, well then, and a little later, but at that point, she asked me to go downstairs.
She took me in her bathroom. She wanted to do stuff with my hair. I was reluctant at first, cuz I hate people messing with my hair, but I gave in. She wanted me to sit on the toilet. She got her comb and tousled with my hair. She got an idea, and wanted to put on the music, It was The Used. I started to sing the songs, and did what she said. It seems she was just combing and straightening my hair. At one point I asked her what the hell she was doing cuz something seemed weird, and she insisted she was just combing my hair, and showed me her hand to prove it. After that I let her do her stuff until she was finished.
"Done." After she was done, I got up and looked at the floor. There was so much hair! I was in shock that all that hair came out from her just doing that shit to my hair, but thats what I figured happened. My hair does fall out. I grabbed it all and made a dread lock.
I didn't want to look at it, but when I did after she was finished teasing it and making it look all layered and sticking out, it looked pretty good. She tried to teach me how to do it, I'm gonna try it out.
We just then watched TV the rest of the day, holding, talking, laughing with each other. We talk alike now. We got along really well. At one point we got each other hot, and I ended up on top of her, pleasuring her. After I hooked her with that, she tried to do it for me. As she tried, and I did, it never worked. It wasn't happening, so I told her to stop. It was fine.
Her Mom came home, we cuddled, and had a good, late dinner. I Loved it. Being with Jessica. I stayed there until pretty late, like 11:00. I had to of course go to school the next day, so I left.
She walked me to my car. It was chilly and windy outside. I held her as she shattered her teeth, and started to make up a story, acting. It was funny and cute, we both laughed. I was talking about a slurpee. "You just go inside, and I'll die." It was a good cold, and I like holding her. We kissed each other, and I left. I got in the car, and was about to leave, when I remembered I didn't remember how to get home, so I ran back and asked, She told me and I left. It was all easy, and I got home. I called her when I did, and everything was good.
It was funny. When I got into my room, my bed was SO messed up. My blankets and sheets were all in weird spots half off the bed. My pillows were on the ground behind the bed. I go to fix them, and when I go to pick up my pillow, and see something on the corner of it, so visible I laugh. The condom wrapper was floating there, for all to see if you noticed. My bed really did look like someone just did have sex on it, and they did. How ironic.
Love...I thought I knew. That was just one version." | | |
| - "Saturday: Was a totally routine day. Day. I awaited Jessica pretty mcuh the whole day, I was looking forward to her coming over after work.
I've decided with Kellie that we will just be friends with beneficiaries... She is leaving to Texas this summer, and it would be pointless to be n e thing more, even if that at all.
Kellie wanted to hang out with me on Saturday, but the thought of Jessica coming over(although I hadn't talked to her all day, so I didn't know for sure) So I talked my way out of that so I could have the best chance of seeing Jessica. I hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks, and I missed her, and still miss her.
After the day passed, and it was around 9 and I had just a little before eaten some Little Caeser's Pizza and a toffee blizzard from Dairy Queen, I got a call from J. She just quickly let me know that she has finally broken her cell phone, and that she was coming over, and quickly hung up. She is always like that.
I awaited her arrival. No one was home cuz my mother went to the movies and Chain was at my Dad's, so it was all good.
She finaly got there. I quickly put my Circa Survive CD on track 1, opened the door, and there she was. It was all normal. She looked cute with herquickly thrown together D.A.R.E. shirt on, and some short little shorts and white flip-flops. She had her hair bundled up in a funny way as well.
Immidietley as I opened the door, she handed a strawberry smoothie that she had been talking about, and made me drink it. She was quickly being friendly with me, and I held back. She told me I always do it, when I see her I act like its the first time. I'm just stubborn at first. We then listened to the Matchbok Romance/Motion City Soundtrack split. I sat away from her, craving recognition from her to prompt me to get near her, but she didn't do n e thing, so we sat apart the entire CD. Why do I always do that. She asked me why I was being so rude.
RIGHT after that CD was over, she got up, went to my room, got into my bed, and called me in. I hesitated with some words, and went in my room. She called me to the bed and I sat. "There it is again..." So I turned around and faced her.
I don't feel like going into detail n e more, but the rest of the short night was funny, filled with "You'll be fine."s and other words and sentences that were funny and dull, a little scare tactic, and some pain for the both of us. The 'sexual' part of the night went well, but it didn't go at all.
Her mom called and told her to come home. We hadn't been together long at all, hadn't got to spend n e time together normally, so that probably had something to do with it. I walked her to her car and kissed her goodnight. Out of nowhere, she handed me my tie I had been without since I left it at her house two weeks ago. What a surprise! haha, I was happy I got it back, I kissed her again and she left. We talked on the phone when she got home, and then I went to bed. I still have the feeling for want of her. She really is an amazing person. To me."
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